Aargh...

Is there such a thing as too much value for your money? At World's End, the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, felt just like that to me. It's three hours long, takes you all over the world, and features enough plot to make Iran-Contra look like simple math. Davy Jones? Calypso? The Flying Dutchman? The Chest? the Brethren Court? the Locker? the Green Flash? Does this thing come with a manual? I liked the ol'-reliable monkey, I liked Naomie Harris' mysterious sorceress [her only notes for the performance were probably 'talk weird'], but I remain one of the last few unconverted when it comes to LOVING the series. The humour has always been a little off for me [Keira Knightley especially has a hard time with the funnies], and this, the last in the trilogy [until it becomes the third in a quadrology], seems always to be jerking off to its own comic cool - i.e. Johnny Depp - and visual punch. I may not know how they did it, but not for one second did I believe that I was watching two ships blasting each other to bits while in a maelstrom.

It's Spiderman 1, Pirates 0.